Is one merely sailing through life?

Fortnight column ''Lady B's Musings''
by Carolanne 

Despite being armed with an ubiquitous glass of champagne and surrounded by many fun people, sitting on a fantastic luxury yacht at a fabulous boat show...this thought catapulted itself into my head...

Am I sailing through life or do I grab every passing opportunity for fun, success, love and contentment?

Do I truly live the "Carpe Diem" Modus Operandi that I preach to anyone who will listen? Or do I belligerently live this through my laughter and fun but never really "Carpe that Day" or "Grab that diem"  truly, with my heart and soul thus securing the things that would make me happy..the things tucked away in the corners of my heart, the things that my dreams are made of..

I'm confident that this  must take bravery of that possessed by a woman like Joan of Arc... Does anyone have that bravery... Do I have it? I'd like to think I do.

I really hope I do...

So, what is it that contents those who claim to be contented? Is it one particular thing or is it a plethora of successes, requiring each and every one of them to be truly happy and in the absence of even just one of them, the rest are left dragging beneath the water with the gusto of that of a ship's anchor?

Why do we as women proclaim "I'll be happy when I'm thin"? Or my life will begin when I'm married...perhaps we need to remind ourselves we are, whether we choose to accept it or not, slap bang in the middle of our lives, slender or rubinesque, and whether we're single, affianced or indeed married...married to our true love, or married to being married.

This procrastination of happiness is an anomaly to me.

Why can't we be happy with the here and now..seizing life with buoyancy and fun,  understanding the in-the-moment joy of a child, or a man for that matter, they're exceedingly good at that observation and practice....they sensibly don't appear to worry too much about the absence of a wedding ring..they don't seem to worry too much about much, unless they can fix it...

Why do we often want more? and said "more" tends to be wrapped around whether our left hand has a sparkler wrapped around it..
This is not to denounce marriage..it can be a beautiful gift, but is it, even with the wrong person a panacea for all wounds..the "go to" place to make a 30 something woman feel she has made it,  Feel...accepted..feel contented and  dare  I say it..feel safe?
Surely we don't need a scenario akin to that of Muriel's wedding to make us feel like a queen..when we're already a dancing queen, dancing through life to the tune of our own musical existence

With this  perplexing thought, I examine my own feelings...making sure that, even on the worst bad hair day, that I don't resort to or allow myself these thoughts..and if I do, I endeavour to remove myself from that precarious situation very very quickly.

So, to remain strong, being the Captain of one's own ship, I will allow my crew to increase with only the most sensible of choices...and of course to find the strongest specimens to man the decks..they must endure the most intense of physicals...
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe...